Biblical Principle:

Before Paul was Paul he was Saul of Tarsus. His life was changed on the road to Damascus. While I do not have quite that radical of a change the key to knowing Paul is knowing Saul. Saul hated Christians, he especially hated a man named Jesus of Nazareth. His background is a key foundation to understanding how God can work through anyone, if only we allow him to. He was well educated in the Jewish law and really was the opposite of the apostles Jesus called. It took being blinded before Saul had a change of heart. I guess that’s what God can do if he needs you.

My Relative Truth:

I was born and raised in a small town in northern New Mexico called Taos.  Taos is like the bar Cheers where everyone really does know your name. The town is largely Catholic and by that I mean I imagine that represented 90% of the people. of Taos.

I was blessed to grow up in a two-parent household with one sibling, a sister.  My parents were hard working blue collar workers that provided all we needed. We never missed mass and I completed all of my required sacraments in the Catholic church. They encouraged my sister and I to get educated because they were not.

I was at best an average student. I worked very hard but struggled greatly in school.  This was also true for every sport I played, and boy did I try them all.  In the end baseball won out. Likely because the team needed a warm body and I just happened to be left handed. 

Like many kids I had my struggles with self-worth and fitting in. I wanted to be popular and accepted but never was. This caused some serious problems not to mention my home life was riddled with alcoholism. In fact, my depression got so bad my first attempted suicide was when I was 14-years old. Of course I blamed God for these circumstances.

I eventually left Taos for higher education at a junior college then a 4-year university. I studied sports medicine as I was always interested in the rehabilitation for athletes.  I went on to get a masters of physical therapy and eventually a doctorate.

I opened my own practice, bought a house and got married in the same year.  I have no children (more to come on this) and I really enjoy a variety of exercise. I dabbled in athletic competitions but learned quickly I have no traits of a true athlete. Again, my failures in athletics was another reason to be angry and blame the God.

If you are keeping score I have not mentioned God’s real role in my life to this point but stay tuned in the upcoming blogs for this.  Growing up I always felt I had been dealt a bad hand so naturally I blamed God for all my problems. My success in the secular world was always marked by me being an overachiever and I loved that title.  I greatly disliked being undersized and of lesser intelligence. It felt great to exact my revenge on God for all he had done to me. Afterall, the blame game is commonly accepted in this day and age and doesn’t it just feel right?

This blame was a major barrier for me for having any real meaningful relationship with God.  Even though I never missed mass as I stayed a loyal Catholic but I never opened the Bible (how could I as I didn’t own one). I was too intimidated to read it and was truly afraid of what it might say.  This made me a spiritual underachiever and I always secretly knew this was going to come back to haunt me.  You just can’t have a relationship with someone you don’t respect.

Application:
If you are in the blame game it’s probably time for a throne check.  I do this periodically where I analyze my week and determine if I place an idol on my heart in place of God. I learned this from a men’s group I was in. While it may be temporary we periodically need to humble ourselves about who or what we are serving. In my next blog we will how quickly this can happen. Take a minute to take an inventory of your problems.  Is there something central or a theme?  Perhaps that is what is sitting on your throne. I pray that you take a deep dive into your heart and determine which master you serve.  This was a great help to me and I use it weekly.  Sin tends to creep and aggregate in our lives, like the Israelites we tend to take our eyes of God.  I pray we all return to him to the throne of our hearts. 

Resource: Worship Song

I am new to Christian worship. Music means different things to different people. It’s rare for a song to blow my hair back. Once I got in the word Christian worship took on a whole new meaning. This song is great reminder of who’s in charge!

Your brother in faith, 

-Felipe